1/18/08

It is hard adjusting to late nights and early mornings when for the past two years I have been good and gone to bed at a decent time (9:30pm).  For this entire New Year I have not made it to bed before midnight and have to get up at 5am every morning. Now you ask me what has changed in my life from the past two years to present time.  Lets see a second job for starters and when I get home I am riled up that I need some time to calm down and get tired again so that I can actually fall asleep (.  And the second major thing is that I get wonderful late night conversations with Dan.  We have sort of a pattern and that is late night conversations or is in each other’s arms.  I like both of them. But men when you get that second job and a possible someone special in your life things start crumbling around me.  Like LAUNDRY I have no more time for it LOL.  Or house chores they just go down the waste receptacle.  Not complaining just trying to wrap my head around how much we change our patterns when someone new or something new happens to you…  I like what is happening to me just tired all the time LOL.  How long does it take teehee??????

Until my next rambling ~

Relationship Questions you Should Ask your Partner in Crime

Here are some Questions that everyone should ask their Partner in Crime ~ The lines in blue are my answers just so you know them ~ I feel like sharing today…

1. What would you do if you won $100,000.00 in the lottery?   I would pay off my debt and take maybe $5,000.00 for some fun getaway trips and the rest would go into a savings account to assure security for my future.
2. What’s your favorite Holiday? How does your family spend it?  Christmas is my favorite Holiday because it is time I get to spoil all of my family and play rummy with my mom and sister. Watch dad walk around the table and read all of our cards and than sneak advice to mom… It is good times for me. 
3. Do you believe in God? Yes and No.  I am not 100% sure what I believe in yet.  I do believe in the “Golden Rule” treats others the way you want them to treat you back.  I think honesty, loyalty and kindness go a very long way in life.
4. What’s your dream job? Where would you most like to live? At first I always wanted to be the stay at home mom and wife but as I get older I know that I would not stay busy enough that now I want to be in the IT field where I can mess and break stuff and enjoy the people around me and sure make some decent money but I think it is better for someone to do something that they love doing no matter the annual salary than do something they hate and make a lot of money.  Ideally if I do ever have kids I would like to be able to stay at home for the first year and than go back to work I think.  You change and grow everyday that your ideal world changes and grows with you daily.
5. What was your dad’s work schedule like? My father worked from Dawn to Dusk and on weekends, holidays.  He owns his own construction company and it has taught me that anything worth while is not a piece pie you work until you get it right with not only your job but your home life as well.
6. How do you envision your life in 5 years? I envision myself with a career my BS degree in IT and financially secure and hopefully sharing my life with someone that appreciates me for who I am.
7. What do you think of spanking your children for punishment? I was not spanked enough as a child.  I think that if you use spanking properly that it is ok.  Just depends on the situation.
8. What do your parent’s like to drink? They like a lot of things, like water, wine, coke, sprite, Dr. Pepper, Smoothies, they are not drunks if that is what you are asking me ~
9. How have your parents reacted to your previous girlfriends/boyfriends? Let’s see the last guy I brought home to the family was in 2003 and mom thought he was nice enough and dad thought he was a lazy you know what.  Sister was in Saint Thomas so she did not get to meet him.
10. What was your relationship with your mother/father like? I am close with both of my parents.  No matter how much I call my dad a jerk I have respect for him and I understand him and I know that he thinks he is showing his love for us etc… My mom is my best friend but yet she is my mother she does not know ALL ~ I am a big girl I can make my own descions on how to live my life but I do respect my parents that if it is a major life change I will get their thoughts and digest it and ponder it and than go with what I want.
11. And last but not least if you are not comfortable asking these questions for fear of the answers or an argument than Dump them right now!  Just kidding but it sure should tell you something don’t you think???? Going to ask him these questions the next time I talk to him ~

Hope you enjoy these questions I got them off an online site somewhere and agreed that everyone that is considering a life time with their partner in crime should ask each other these important questions. 

Revealing

I have this wall or barrier that is protecting my heart for so long that I don’t know how to just let loose and let people in.  I have been stung by people in the past and the more I got stung the taller and thicker the barrier got.  It has been a very long time that I have opened up and shared my inner thoughts with someone that could hold the key to my heart that I forget how stressful it can be.  See it has been a long time since I have met someone that I wanted to break down the barrier of my heart and let them see it all. Just bare it out there and go for the ride. I have forgotten how.  Hanging out with Dan has showed me that it is ok to be my goofy plain old self and just to let lose.  He gets my humor; he is soooo sweet, kind and hopefully loyal.  I know that we have only been hanging out for two weeks but I think I could let myself get lost in him but in a good way. He would still allow me to be me and to not stray from what I am accomplishing in my life just to appease him.  But he has mentioned a couple of times that he is not the commitment type of guy and my instincts are telling me to ride it out and hope for the best but my heart is saying run and run fast.  You don’t have time in your life to get hurt.  And honestly I do not know if I could take another rejection whether it is mutual or not it still feels like rejection.  This man gets my jokes and my humor and he actually laughs at them with me.  I surprise him and oh boy does he surprise me.  I tend to smother the ones I love and I don’t want to fuck it up before it ever begins.  Been told many times that is my problem but I cannot help that he is ALWAYS on my mind and the thought of being in his arms just thrills me to no end.  I was never one for cuddling or falling asleep in ones arms but to feel his weight pressed up against me makes me feel so safe and not claustrophobic.  I have always put the sexual needs and wants first before the intellect and emotional needs.  With Dan it is like a package all wrapped into one huge Christmas present waiting to be unwrapped multiple times.  For once it is not all about the SEX and it is all about getting to know him and his wants and likes and dislikes.  I actually take time to learn about him and to study him and listen for flocculation’s in his voice and will tune me into what he wants.  I know two weeks come on Heather get a clue but if anything I am good at reading body language spoken and unspoken. I want this to work out and I know that is already way too much to ask for so early in the game but this is how I feel and it is safe to post it on here as only a select few who know me know about it.  Well ok like only two people lol.  But here is the thing I am so scared to let it all hang out but I am in fear if I don’t let it than I might lose someone that could be that special someone.  He might just be that gem that I have been searching for all my life.  In the past I have felt the same how can I trust myself another time to allow myself to hurt.  I don’t want to get hurt and I understand that in order for anything grand to happen you have to give more of yourself than you’re willing but how far do I go??? God I hate being a girl sometimes.  Why are we like the way we are??????Heather   

Oh Lalala did I blush

When I bought my house in 2001 it took me a whole year to run into my neighbor who is attached to the other half of my duplex.  For the longest time I thought he really did not exist and that it was my imagination that he lived in the other half.  But we finely bumped into one another at our mail boxes of all places.

 Between then and now I have talked to him a couple of times as he really keeps to himself and I always thought of him as more of a hermit then myself.  I know can you believe it someone that is more of a hermit then ME… How dare they that is my title LOL ~ December 30th, 2007 will always be in my memory.  That day will represent the “Neighbor Guy”.  It just makes me smile all over thinking about it. So I meet my current roommate up at Old C’s for a couple of beers and there was a drunk older man to my right and another man sitting on my right next to me and Sara to my left so I did not pay any attention what-so-ever to anyone on my right until the man I was sitting close to, was paying for his tab and low and behold it is my neighbor guy Dan!  For over an hour I was sitting next to my hermit and never even knew it.  Well so it was close to my birthday 12/31 so I made Sara poor girl and Dan go to Silver Bullet where I go and get toasted WOOHOO…. Sara had to drive my drunken ass home.  That was sweet.  Man o Man do I need to clean my car well anyways long story made short ok well somewhat short I got KISSED and some other things.  Dan did things to me that I have not had done in over 4 years.  Holly COW!!! I sure do have a hot neighbor and to make it even better he came over last night and cuddled with me and told me such sweet things.  I no longer think of him just as a hermit I think of him as MY HERMIT…..  Phew… That man has a set of lips that are sweet and luscious…. 

To be continued…. 

Maybe I will have some juicy details to share one day….